


Your bleedin' Heart

by Mado



Category: Cable and Deadpool
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:30:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mado/pseuds/Mado
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Because, it wouldn’t mean anything. I’m kinda lookin’ for a good distraction here Tasky, and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone I actually care about.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your bleedin' Heart

**Author's Note:**

> The (dirty) sequel to Like Perfect Strangers.

“—And not that I even care, but it was like he dumped me before prom! He had all his ducks in a row and it would have been, ya know, awesome to save the world for once… and that shit’s easier to do when you’re actually workin’ with a bona fide GOOD GUY. But now he’s all being GI Jesus with out me, and now I just wanna like… I dunno, shoot a puppy or something.” Wade gestured with his empty bottle, slumped and miserable where he’d half draped himself over the arm of Taskmaster’s couch, socked feet pushing into the cushion and head rolling back.

Tony took another sip from his own bottle, the expensive imported lager bitter on his tongue, his gaze wandering from the forlorn mercenary to the rows of empty bottles that lined the crooked and shoddily repaired coffee table, he was probably down ten to one and still had a creeping feeling that he was only slightly more sober than Wade.

“You know you’ve said that eight times already.”

“… what? That entire speel? I’m pretty sure I’m chalked full of fresh material! I could write for Seinfeld.” 

“No. The ‘Not that I even care.’ Thing”

“I don’t , why should I? Didn’t even wanna be there in the first place because I’m my own man, a lone wolf, a one man acappella band do whap diddy do! I mean, sure I have my own group of useful minions—but I’m like Batman, I don’t need the Justice League to be cool, I just let them hang out with me. ”

Taskmaster rolled his eyes, probably for the dozenth time that night which meant he was probably risking eye strain. “Then why do you—“

“BECAUSE HE BRAIN WASHED ME! He must have, there’s no other way—He’s like Obi Wan smooth, just waves his hand all ‘We’re not the Jedi you’re looking for’ and I totally believe it. I’m all ‘Jedi whut?’ and next thing I know I got my pants off.” 

Tony spent the next two minutes recovering from choking on his beer. 

Wade oozed down the side of the couch, slinking until he got his knees steady beneath him, then rolled to flop on his back, dropping his head into Tony’s lap, much to the older merc’s delayed dismay. Likely the lazy indifference due to being comfortably intoxicated was the only thing that kept him from just shoving Deadpool away. Or at least it was easy to convince himself that at the time. 

“I’ll never have anything that good again. I know I didn’t deserve it, but it was kinda nice while it lasted. But Tasky, I’m greedy, why can’t I get back in line at the buffet for another taste of heaven?” 

“Because you’re a thoughtless idiot and ruin everything on your own with your childish recklessness. Besides, the good cop, bad cop relationship only works on TV. I doubt audiences are ready for ‘The blood thirsty psychopath and the savior of the world.’” 

“… we lasted over forty issues.” 

“… What?” 

Wade turned his pathetic gaze upward, nose wrinkling. “You’re awful at this comforting thing.” 

“Oh is that what you’re here for? Because I figured it was just to raid my fridge and break my furniture.” He pulled the thick fabric of his mask back down over his mouth.

“Well… a fight would have been nice too, can’t now, too drunk. S’all good though, you’d cheat cause I bet you’ve seen The Legend of Drunken Master.” 

“I have.” 

Deadpool was quiet for a moment, which was both surprising and disturbing and Tony jerked when he finally spoke again. “Do you have any porn?”

“I’m not watching porn with you. “

“Weasel watches porn with me.” 

“Well then why don’t you go watch it with him?”

“… can’t, it’s D&D night, he’s off hangin’ out with the Fixer, Beast and Bob and that generic looking nerdy kid that jizzs himself every time he meets someone new.” 

“Why do I ask questions…” 

“Because I always have wi—“

“Shhhhh. Shh! That was a statement.”

“Then you shouldn’t have said it in the form of a question, you’d be great at Jeopardy though.” Wade stretched, spine bowing and a pleased groan escaping before he flopped back down, letting his empty bottle drop to the carpet and roll away before cracking his eyes open and peering back up at Tony in the dim light. “Weird cause you’ve got that whole glowey eye thing goin’ on with the cowl, cept I can’t see the rest cause it’s dark.” He reached up in attempt to poke one of Taskmaster’s eyes out with a finger, hand a little wobbly so he ended up simply jabbing him in the forehead, letting his fingertip rest there for a good minute before grumbling. “I kinda hate myself right now. Weird huh? Because I’m usually so damn awesome; but even I don’t wanna be me.” 

“… You are pretty pathetic.” Tony reached to catch his wrist before he managed to successfully blind him, the corner of his mouth pulling down as he was met with no resistance or even more surprising, no reply. “Yeah okay, I’ve had enough of this pity party, I’m goin’ to bed.” He started to get up, pausing when Wade’s fingers curled against the fabric of his shirt, hardly enough to keep him in place but the gesture was enough to stop him. He let out a long, suffering sigh. “What?” 

“This is the part where you’re supposed to say something comforting or insightful that makes me feel better so I don’t end up living on your couch and eating all your ice cream.”

“… Jesus, Wade what do you want me to do? It’s not like you’ve got a booboo that I can just slap a bandaid on and send you off to play again. This isn’t even my job, I don’t even LIKE you that much and you come to me bleeding your heart out all over the place.” 

“Can I at least get pity sex?”

“You…” He snapped his mouth shut, breathing a sigh out his nose. “Even if the idea didn’t repulse me to the very core. Why?” 

“Because, it wouldn’t mean anything. I’m kinda lookin’ for a good distraction here Tasky, and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone I actually care about.”

“So? Pick up a hooker.” 

“Have you SEEN me?”

“Touché.” God he wasn’t sure he was drunk enough for this. “Will this get you off my couch?”

“I dunno, I’ll have to consult my magic 8 ball first.” 

“Fine.” 

 

“I mean, it seems to get stuck on the ‘try again later’ one no matter how much I shake and shake and sha—really?” 

“I’m so going to regret this later.” But Wade’s hands were already up his shirt, rough textured fingers cold against his skin and it sent goose bumps down his arms. He closed his eyes, resisting the urge to curl his lip. Wade rolled back over, rising up on his knees, the leather of the couch groaning with the movement. 

It wasn’t so awful if he didn’t think about it, and concentrating on the task at hand seemed to keep Wade quiet enough, his weigh almost comfortable as he settled himself across Tony’s lap, leaning in to press his face against his neck, puffing hot, beer-stale breath into his collar bone. 

“You know how many baby whales they had to kill for that cologne?” 

“If you talk, we’re done.” He grunted as teeth found the cord of his throat, tongue sweeping wetly across his adams apple. Wade hummed instead, something tuneless before deciding on the star trek theme, then Gilligans Island, hands petting down over the too soft material of Tony’s t-shirt, down along his arms to grab his wrists, guiding his hands to rest on his thighs. 

Taskmaster finally moved, grappling for the other man instead to dump him onto the floor by his feet, Wade, by some grace, managed to catch himself rather than tumble back into the coffee table, crouching instead and blinking up at him with a curious expression. “Fine, no foreplay… spoil sport.” Without missing a beat he leaned forward, catching his hands on Tony’s knees to nudge them apart, settling in with his chest against the edge of the cushion, and nudged his nose between the other man’s spread thighs. 

Wade glanced up, meeting the faint glow of Tony’s unwavering gaze and grinned crookedly for a moment before teeth found heavy denim, mouth pressing hard and it almost made the other merc jump since he was in sudden, very real danger of injuring something he was personally rather fond of. “Pool—“  
The pressure eased up, his breath puffing hot and damp through the fabric, lips moving so he could simply mouth against him, still humming; only the tune came out more of a mix of the Jaws theme and the old batman series. Tony’s hand came to rest at the back of his head by the time his teeth found the zipper, tugging it down while reaching to work open the button. He sat back on his heels with a disappointed frown.

“What?”

“I was sort of expecting a thong or something like… closet kinky, you’re too cranky all the time not to be wearing too tight underwear.” 

“You’re killing whatever slight boner I may have been getting.”

Wade hastily tugged at the belt loops, working jeans further down his hips before hooking his fingers in the waste band of Tony’s boxers, dragging them down far enough that he could free his cock, wrapping his fingers around it giving a few light tugs in attempt to rouse it to attention.

“You know the whole seduction process is a lot less awkward in movies. Usually there’s long steamy glances and they then they fall all over each other, ripping one another’s clothes off on the way to the bedroom, and then it cuts to some eighty hair band rock balled… I wanna know what love iiiiis! I want you to shoooow me-.” 

Taskmaster leaned to rest his elbow on the couch’s arm, dropping his cheek into his palm as he watched. “You’re not exactly Brad Pitt...” 

“I’d say I’m more of a Ryan Reynolds.” Wade flattened his tongue against the underside of Tony’s warming erection, cupping his palm against it as he licked his way up before taking it into his mouth. 

At least it kept him mostly quiet for a few minutes, though the loud, sloppy noises he made instead were almost worse. Tony was convinced that it was similar to watching a train wreck, unable to pull his gaze away due to the same disturbed curiosity. At least when he could keep his eyes open, because despite Wade’s horrible form there really wasn’t such thing as a bad blow job. 

Wade lifted his head again, wiping at his mouth. “Would a little positive reinforcement hurt? Maybe a little dirty talk?” 

“You can come back up here.” 

“Can I take my pants off first?” Deadpool was already half out of them before he even finished the question, squirming and tugging with a sort of one legged hop before tumbling back down on the couch and into Taskmaster’s arms… who, only seemed to have caught him to avoid an accidental knee in the groin. Wade straddled his thigh, leaning in to slant his forehead against Tony’s , grinning. “How about a little audience participation, no wonder you’re not getting’ any tail, you’re like a cold fish.” 

Tony hesitated before letting his hands settle at the other merc’s hips, splaying fingers against the strangely textured skin, sliding down to rest against the back of his thighs when he rose up higher on his knees. He couldn’t really ignore the erection pressing into his chest, or the way Wade’s fingers were slipping up the back of his neck, dark material riding up so he could tangle them against the hair at his nape. 

“I swear to all that is holy or otherwise, Wade… if you tell anyone.” 

Deadpool shifted, cradling the back of his skull and bending over him so he could bump his mouth against Taskmaster’s ear. “Come on Tasky, I’m being really good…. And I’ve been really good, and it’s kinda hard you know? I mean… the behaving part, not my—well, yeah that’s hard too, but I’m sure you’ve noticed that by nommmfff!”

Because as much as Tony would rather avoid it, kissing Wade was a good way to shut him up. He kept a solid grip at the back of his neck, mouth crushed against Deadpool’s own, damp even with the layer of cloth between them, breath puffing hot and muffled. Wade tore away with a drag of breath, practically squirming in his lap eagerly. “Okay a hot fish. Sex now?”  
“If you find me a condom.”

“Whhhat? Oh come on! “

“Look, I don’t know where you’ve been.”

“Lots of places! Even space! And the future… and I think the past that one time, because there were dinosaurs—“ 

“Wade.” 

“I’m going! I’m looking! Stay there, like… right there.” Wade scrambled off his lap and went to duck down the hall, opening doors and rummaging around. 

“Nope, closet. Nope kitchen, nope armo—holy shit where’d you get those swords? Can I touch them? IS that a rocket launcher, laser guided and… oh momma!”

Tony let his head fall back, draping an arm over his eyes. “You can just fuck that instead if you want.” 

“I’m LOOKING! Bee are bee!” 

“Did you get lost in there?” Taskmaster cracked one eye open as he felt Wade lean over him again, letting his arm slide up to his forehead—and then scrambled up as a knife was buried into the couch beside his head. He managed to block the next swing, deflecting Wade’s wrist with his own and pushed up with his body, rolling with his shoulders and throwing himself over the back of the couch. Deadpool followed with more grace than a naked knife wielding madman had any right to have, his body twisting as he dropped, vaulted forward and caught Tony around the torso in a football tackle.

They both went down hard, grappling, knocking into an end table and sending a lamp cluttering to the floor, Tony grunting at a knee to the stomach, Wade’s hot breath against his cheek and that damn idiot was grinning. “You like it rough baby, because I bet you’re the type… unless of course you’re one of those guys that’s all into animals, I dunno cause I haven’t had the chance to check the porn file on your computer, but that’s cool because animals are totally people too, I mean, it’s not my thing personally, but who am I to judge if you like to tap a goat every once in awhile?.”

Deadpool reeled back from a fist to his mouth, sitting back on his heels, perched on top of the other man’s thighs, he turned his head to spit out what was probably a tooth, offering a bloody grin as he grabbed for Tony’s head, catching him under the jaw and slamming it back into the floor. The thud wasn’t nearly as satisfying on carpet but the glare he received sent a pleasant chill down his spine. 

“Okay, okay, even I’ll admit that bugs bunny was sort of hot in drag. And Jessica Rabbit? Yowza! Now I wouldn’t move if I were you because as awesome as I bet you look on the inside, the color won’t match your wall paper at all.” The blade of the knife came to rest at the hollow of Tony’s throat and Wade dragged it down in one smooth motion, earning a somewhat startled cry of protest. He released Tony’s jaw to slide his palm down the center of his chest, heaving with breath and pulse racing, the shirt falling open where it had been cut. 

“Jessica Rabbit wasn’t an animal.” Tony pushed himself back up on his elbows, his ears ringing slightly.

“… Hey you’re right! But she was like… fucking a cartoon rabbit, so it’s like guilt by association—this is a really nice knife, can I keep it?” 

“Yeah whatever, knock yourself out. Oh, and you do realize you’re a god damn psychopath, right?” 

“Mmhmm.” Deadpool simply buried the blade into the floor beside them, freeing up his hand to tug away more of the ruined t-shirt, tracing his thumbs over old scars. “Ya know, not that I’d admit that you’re any good Tasky, because I could totally PAWN your ass, but hey, kudos for not being as cool as me and still surviving in the business.” 

“Get off me.” 

“Don’t you mean get you off? I’m pretty sure that’s where this is going.” Wade shifted to lean down again, calloused fingers skimming down Tony’s belly to dip into his open jeans, almost surprised to find him still hard and ready against his palm. “You DO like it rough, you dog you!” He canted his hips up to rub his cock against the other merc’s own, sending a pleasant jolt of sensation through them both. His lids lowered and he did it again, flattening a hand against Tony’s chest so he could brace himself, rocking against him a few times before pressing harder in a slow grind that left his hip stinging for a moment where the zipper caught him, but it wasn’t worth stopping. 

“Nnn it’s not fun if you’re gonna keep getting’ all quiet on me, part of the reason I keep you around is for the witty retorts—we’re like Starsky and Hutch, no one’s going to watch JUST for the homoerotic undertones, we need tight pants and banter! Oh! Maybe a sexy red car too.” 

Taskmaster rolled his eyes, bucking Wade off with little trouble, catching him off balance and grabbing for his neck to shove him first against the wall, then rolling to grapple him to the floor, struggling only momentarily before he had him pinned beneath his weight. He drew a hand back to smack him upside the head, then paused in near bewilderment at Deadpool; suddenly grinning at him again, a foil condom package between his teeth, waggling his eyebrows.  
“Where did yo—nevermind.” Tony snatched it from him, using his own teeth to tear the wrapper, leaning back on his heels to roll it on.

“Wow you’ve had a lot of practice, I bet you can’t make a poodle though, or a hat.” Wade squirmed like some sort of overly pleased eel, wiggling his way right out from beneath the other merc and rolling to push himself up on his hands and knees, wagging his ass at Tony; receiving a look that was somewhere between amusement and revulsion.

He grabbed for Wade’s hips, rising to his own knees behind him, fingers digging against cancer ravaged skin, splaying over the sharp jut of bone and sleek muscle. Moved a hand to guide himself against his entrance, pressing and the thin coating of lubrication on the latex wasn’t really enough to make it easy so he simply compensated with a hard jerk of his hips—which nearly sent Wade’s arms out from under him in surprise. 

“Ow! Look I know about your stabbing fetish but- nnmf!“ 

Tony pushed into him again, gritting his teeth against tight resistance, though it left Wade breathless for a moment, words dissolving into a more guttural sound. Taskmaster stilled and it was a good thirty seconds of awkward silence before Wade blinked, peering over his shoulder. “What are yo—ah!” He was nearly shoved into the carpet that time and it was a damn good thing he recovered from rug burn quickly. “Okay, I get it! Jerk.” Wade shifted, knees sliding as he spread his thighs further, relaxing a little and he was rewarded with a considerably less violent thrust, in fact the next few were delightfully deep and nice and made skin prick with sweat. 

“I guess you’re okay, but I’m still sort of disappointed, I figured with as much as you get around you’d be better. Not like Dr.Ruth good though, because that old lady is a beast!” 

“Mm… you mean like this?” Tony angled his hips, dropping a hand between Wade’s shoulder blades to shove his chest down as he drove into him. And oh, fuck, perfect! Once, twice… by the third Wade was coherent enough to actually make a noise, which came out too much like a strangled cat and he had to swallow before he could moan properly. But of course if he was going to moan then it was going to do it like a fucking pornstar! Which came with a lot of “mm’s” and “aahhs” and panting breath; completely destroying Tony’s rhythm with the distraction.

“… are you always this vulgar?” 

“Nah, it gets worse.” Wade arched a little, breathing sharply through his teeth as he glanced back up over his shoulder. “How about… ‘Oh fuck! Harder! Do it harder god! Yes! YES!” 

Tony leaned forward, hand sliding up to grab for the back of Wade’s head to shove his face into the carpet, picking up where he’d left off before his libido died altogether. 

It took a few minutes before Wade fully figured out how Tasky’s reward system worked; the longer he was quiet the more often he moved just right to hit that sweet spot. He liked that spot, it made his vision blur and stomach flutter, leaving every nerve sort of tingly good. And the longer he let the other merc concentrate the more likely he was to get low, breathy moans in return, each strained sound that escape was like a little victory.

“Nngh… okay, ah… I don’t think I could trouble you for a reach around? Cause this is gonna be freakin’ embarrassing if I come from just takin’ it up the ass.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Tony’s voice was deeper, raw around the edges and Wade closed his eyes, burying his face against his forearm. 

“I’ll start singing if you don’t.” 

“Just, hang on--- right… there.” His breath hitched, body shuddering where it pressed sweat damp against Wade’s back, jerking slightly as he hissed between his teeth.

“… did you just—?” 

Wade grunted as Tony pulled out, a protest lost In his throat as he was caught with an arm around his neck, yanked back only to fall in a half sprawl against him. Fingers closed around his cock and he nearly whined, reaching to catch his arm, more to keep himself steady as Tony jerked him off, letting his head roll back against his shoulder, hips lifting into each practiced stroke until his spine was bowing and he was babbling incoherently, spilling hot and wet over skilled fingers. 

“Tasky?”

“Shhh…”

“Can I be the little spoon?” 

Tony sighed, arm still slung loosely around his neck, wiping sticky fingers off against his belly. He gave the after glow time to wear off, shoving Wade from his lap and rising to stretch. 

“now I’m going to bed.” 

Deadpool just stretched out on the carpet, eyes heavy lidded as his gaze followed Tony as he headed for the hall. Taskmaster hesitated, glancing back. “… you can sleep on the couch.” 

“You gonna make me breakfast?”

“Don’t push your luck.”


End file.
